The sudden passing of Fr. Rev. John Deniz left us shell shocked. As the news of his untimely death started pouring in, everyone experienced in different ways that the world under our feet has shifted. The people of God in Sant Estevam, his family and priest fraternity in Goa were overwhelmed with disbelief, grief and confusion. Like Hamlet in Shakespeare’s play , we felt that ‘the time is out of joint’ . We experienced the heartache of a disruption. Life which we assume as stable had quickly become fractured and broken. We felt a deep unease. Things seem to have fallen apart and we were left feeling adrift.
But this moment of confusion also has a grace of clarity. As each of us began to grapple with the terrible loss of Fr. John at different levels, both his presence and absence with us became verbal and we were caught in the loop of conjugation: I John, You John, He/she / It Johns, We John, You John and they John. John becoming verb enabled us to make sense of what it meant to John or be John.
As his life begin to John us,( Think of John as a verb), some of us became profoundly aware of how he Johned (loved) God, his people, family and friends. A each of us could feel this Johning intensely and within this Johning, we could sense that God too was Johning him. This Johning by God led us to come to terms with God’s will as regards his sudden death. We could see a deep intersection between the Johning of John and the Johning of God. Both Johning met into an intertwining of genuine love, care and empathy.
This leads us to understand Fr. John’s Johning ministry was very close to God’s love manifested in our Lord Jesus Christ. Like his master and lord Jesus, Fr. John was a Good Shepherd. No one can forget his shepherding care. His missionary zeal, sacrifice and pastoral compassion has touched deeply every person who came across him. We can therefore, intensely feel that his saintly legacy will certainly last beyond his short life on earth. It is this legacy that can enable us to cope with the great loss that we feel at his demise.
Even in his absence , the fact that we John tells us that he has made a lasting impact on us. He is indeed a faithful servant who has run his race and kept his faith. While Fr. John Johned (lived) with us, we have been Johned by him to the point that we can now see that God was acting in and through him. Fr. John Johned in Goa, Tripura, and Nagar Haveli mission.
Maybe we could summarize his life by taking his name as an acronym. J: tells us that his loved profoundly Jesus and His Mission.
O: tells us that he loved the oppressed deeply
H: tells us that he loved Humanity wholeheartedly
N : tells us that he love nature dearly
It is within this multilayered love that we can place the priestly life, ministry and love for Konkani of our beloved Fr. John. He fully lived his life at several levels. We cannot express it fully in our words and anecdotes. Even our memory is weak to hold each detail of his deep passion for humanity and God. Fr. John was truly a great pilgrim of Faith , Hope and Love. We could experience God through him. His death is also a real part of his Johning ( life journey) . It gives us hope that we too like John live our discipleship fully immersed in faith in the life of the Church. Fr. John did everything to bring the saving light of Christ in the darkest corners of our lives. Like John , we have the challenge as followers of Jesus , to Jesus in the Church. We have to make all efforts to conjugate Jesus both within and beyond the visible boundaries of the Church. It is only when I Jesus, You Jesus, He/ She/ It Jesuses, We Jesus, You Jesus They Jesus,( in the Church) that we will become pilgrims of Hope both within and beyond the Church.